10 Reasons Bobby Singer Hates Resurrected 'Verse
by J. Maria
Summary: Bobby's the unofficial 'adult' of the Resurrected 'verse, what with Mary & John dead, 'Hank' & 'Joyce' rejuvenated, and Giles just out of the picture in London. Which is why he hates being caught in the middle of all the 'kids' messes.
1. He Gets Blamed  a Lot

Title: Ten Reasons Bobby Singer Hates the Resurrected 'Verse  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: I do not own Bobby (Kripke does, that bastard) - or anyone else - that would be Whedon, Murphy, Henson, Davies, Kenyon, and Spelling. (Except for Mari, Malachi, and Sheyle - thems mine, bitches!)  
Summary: Bobby's the unofficial 'adult' of the Resurrected verse, what with Mary & John dead, 'Hank' & 'Joyce' rejuvenated, and Giles just kind of out of the picture in London. Which is why he _hates_ being caught in the middle of all the kids' messes. Here are the other ten reasons why he hates the R'v.  
Words: 375  
A/N: Why, or why, do I want to make Bobby say gorramit all the time? Mean, old crotchety man. I think hes an ancestor of Captain Malcolm Reynolds !beat the muse with a frying pan - no more damn fandoms in the R'V!

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Ten Reasons Bobby Singer Hates the Resurrected 'Verse

  
1. He Gets Blamed - A Lot

_"- And that's why this is all _your _fault, Bobby Singer!"_ Buffy Summers-soon-to-be-Miller hollered through the phone.

"Actually, little girl, this would all be _Graham's_ fault. He's the one who skirted out on his job of relaying the demon contract information to _me_ to save Dean _before_ he went to hell!" Bobby hollered right back at her. "And _Dawn_ was the one who decided she had to adopt Sam as her new summer project."

_"Bobby, she's _crushing _on a dead guy! This can only end badly!"_ Buffy's voice quieted. "_I don't want her to get hurt."_

"Dean's not dead. He's not any more dead than Cassie, Ash or Anya," Bobby explained for the umpteenth time. Everyone else could wrap their heads around it, but the oldest living slayer couldn't seem to. "And if you have an issue with Dawn hanging around the Winchester boys, you're gonna have to take it up with her. Not me."

_"But they listen to you, Bobby!"_ Buffy whined a bit at the end of her sentence, driving him a bit mad.

"Talk to your damn sister!" Bobby slammed the phone down and went back to researching the demon that was setting up shop three towns over and collecting toes of its victims.

He had about five minutes peace before the damn phone rang off the hook again. Double checking to make sure it wasn't one of his cover-story phones, he pulled it to his ear.

"Hello?"

_"Why is _Buffy_ calling me non-stop?"_

"Your sister's afraid that you're half in love with Dean, and she's blaming -"

__

"What? That's completely

stupid! _I - I don't like him or his stupid music or his stupid car or his stupid face -"_

"Take it up with your sister, Dawn," Bobby snapped, slamming the phone down.

It rang five seconds later. Slamming the book down hard on the table, he hefted up the phone again, any patience he had now shot to shit.

"What?"

_"Uh, Bobby, why is Summers telling me I'm stupid?"_

"If you can't figure that out on your own, then you're as stupid as she calls ya."

Bobby then did something he'd never done before in all the years he'd been hunting. He unplugged his damn phone for an hour.


	2. He Fixes Their Problems

Title: Ten Reasons Bobby Singer Hates the Resurrected Verse  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: I do not own Bobby (Kripke does, that bastard) - or anyone else - that would be Whedon, Murphy, Henson, Davies, Kenyon, and Spelling. (Except for Mari, Malachi, and Sheyle - thems mine, bitches!)  
Summary: Bobby's the unofficial 'adult' of the Resurrected 'verse, what with Mary & John dead, 'Hank' & 'Joyce' rejuvenated, and Giles just kind of out of the picture in London. Which is why he _hates_ being caught in the middle of all the kids' messes. Here are the other ten reasons.  
Words: 1,215(o_O)  
A/N: I'm making up Mrs. Puckerman's name, and for the sake of not confusing myself, re-renaming his sister (there's just one too many Sarahs' in the 'verse right now for my sanity - having three Sams will be confusing enough - not to even mention the two Ashs.)  
A/N2: Also, I slightly bash Twilight in here. . . which is why I will never let my niece read my fanfics (on a broad scale, I'll watch the movies and enjoy them for the most part. On a narrower scale, I can't even bring myself to read the last three books in the series even though I own them. I only finished the first book because I saw the movie and decided to finish reading it.)

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Ten Reasons Bobby Singer Hates the Resurrected Verse

  
2. He Fixes Their Problems

"Damn it, boy, what did you do _now_?" Bobby snapped as he pushed open the driver's side door on the Charger.

A tiny brunette flung herself at him as tears ran down her cheeks. He hated when they cried. Couldn't figure out a thing to do with 'em when they were in tears. Bitchin' and moanin', Bobby could suss out a way to handle them. But set a tiny little thing to tears and he was as helpless as any other man in the room. Which was why he was glaring at the Winchester boy in question as he made damn cooing noises at the girl in his arms.

"It's not my fault, dude!" Noah 'Puck' Puckerman glowered at him.

"You are going to be sent to Juvenile Hall, Noah!" Rachel Berry sobbed. "How is that not your fault?"

"I didn't drive a Volvo into that store!" Noah frowned. "My mom doesn't even _have_ a Volvo. I'm not a gay, sparkling vampire. Besides, I was stuck watching Mari and Leah."

"Aw, hell," Bobby grunted. "Where's your brother?"

"Dean's out on a Hunting trip," Noah glowered at him.

"And Adam?"

"Cassie had a vision," Noah crossed his arms.

"And Sam?"

"With Dean, probably," Noah frowned.

"Call _Dawn_," Bobby snapped, irritated beyond the telling of it with the boy's attitude and the girl's tears. "Have her patch you through to Willow, who'll make this all go away. Which is what you should have done before you called _me_."

"Your number was the first in the emergency contact list Dawn gave me," Rachel blinked back tears. "She said if anything bad happened, you could fix it."

"Balls!" Bobby rolled his eyes.

* * *

Bobby wearing a suit was a novel sight. When Noah and Rachel spotted him in the hallway at McKinley, they almost hadn't recognized him until he grabbed Noah by the scruff of his neck and dragged him to the principal's office.

"Bobby, dude, my rep!" Noah muttered.

"Do I look like I give a fuck about your reputation, boy?" Bobby hissed back, slipping something into the pocket of Noah's plaid shirt. "No, now move your rebellious ass to the office so I can get you out of this mess and keep your girl from crying her pretty eyes out."

Five minutes later found the small office crowded with the officer who was supposed to take Noah away, the principal, Mr. Shuester, Bobby and the cheerleading coach for some odd reason. Bobby didn't like the look of the officer, but then he was never particularly comfortable with the law given his 'profession'.

And the beefy looking man sitting across from them didn't make Bobby feel any more at ease with this whole situation. He might not know Noah or Adam like their older brothers, but he trusted both of the boys words that Noah hadn't been involved in this stupid stunt.

"Mr. Puckerman, your mother was supposed to attend this meeting," Principal Figgins frowned at the boy.

"I think we can square this mess away without adding more stress to Ruth," Bobby crossed his arms.

"Who are you again?" Will Shuester asked, frowning as Bobby lowered himself back into his chair.

"The boy's uncle, on his faher's side," he huffed. "He ain't too bright on occasion, but even he ain't dumb enough to think he wouldn't get caught pullin' a stunt like stealing an ATM."

"There were several eyewitnesses -" the officer started.

"That's pretty funny, seeing as my nephew here was spending quality time with his little sisters."

"Sisters? I was aware of only one younger sister -" the officer, who still hadn't given his name out, narrowed his eyes at Bobby.

"Why would you know of _either_ sister?" Will's frown deepened and Bobby started to like the Spanish teacher. The man asked a damn good question.

"One's a new addition to the family," Noah added, which kinda made Bobby wanna hit him a little bit.

"And her guardian's an officer of the law. I spoke to her this morning and she picked up the girl the same time Noah here was supposedly driving through the store with an ATM sticking out the back of a car that is not registered to Ruth Puckerman. I should know, seeing as I'm her mechanic as well," Bobby turned to face the officer. "What did you say your name was again, son?"

"Officer Lovitz," he shifted uncomfortably.

"Can I see some identification?"

"Can I? How are we to believe that you are truly this boy's uncle?" Lovitz scoffed.

"I would also like to see your identification, Officer Lovitz," Sue Sylvester frowned, speaking for the first time from just over Noah's shoulder. "Puckerman's already vouched for the man, and I've seen him several times on campus with the boy and his brothers."

"Puck, you've got brothers?" Shuester gaped at Puck's single nod.

"Three of them - one the size of an overgrown mountain man with hair as nearly as atrocious as your own, Will. One is constantly ogling my Cheerios, and the other is a frumpy little mess that's dating Cassie Lehane."

"Puck's brother is dating Cassie? How do you know this?" Will ignored the rest of the room, shocked that Sue would actually know so much about a student's home life.

"I make a note of all the people of interest who frequently roam the campus unattended -"

"You barely even know _Puck's_ name -"

"I know it, I jus't dont use it because then they develop this sense of entitlement. I'm simply preparing them for their future in retail or the food industries where they will be nameless bodies fetching our goods for us," Sue turned back to Lovitz. "Your identification - now."

* * *

"Wait, wait - _Coach Sylvester_ backed you up?" Quinn frowned as Puck relayed the information to the rest of the glee kids of what had happened in the office.

"Apparently, she likes Cassie and before she went away to see her sister for the week, Cassie told her about a man passing himself off as an officer of the law," Rachel answered.

"And your Uncle Bobby?" Finn asked. "How did he know to show up out of the blue?"

"Berry called him," Puck shook his head as Rachel leaned into him. "And he had Officer Lockley call a few people to see if this dude was legit."

"Besides, Noah was baby-sitting his sisters all night long the night he supposedly did this-"

"Rachel!" Puck glared at her.

"And Mr. Singer knew Noah wouldn't have abandoned his sisters to steal a car _and_ an ATM."

"Hey, maybe your uncle can figure out why none of us have heard from Matt since he mysteriously transferred," Mike said suddenly, drawing the rest of the glee kids back to him.

"You haven't kept in touch with him?" Tina asked.

"No. It's like he dropped off the face of the earth," Mike looked sad.

"Call Mr. Singer, Noah," Rachel's eyes widened.

"He's gonna have my ass for this," Puck groaned.

"I'll call Dawn," Rachel huffed.

"That's a good plan. Now, what are you callin' her about, Rachel?" Bobby asked as he came to say goodbye to them.

"Our friend Matt Rutherford hasn't been heard from in weeks," Rachel glanced up at him with wide, frightened eyes.

"Oh, balls!"


	3. He Makes Their Excuses

Title: Ten Reasons Bobby Singer Hates the Resurrected 'Verse  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: I do not own Bobby (Kripke does, that bastard) - or anyone else - that would be Whedon, Murphy, Henson, Davies, Kenyon, and Spelling. (Except for Mari, Malachi, and Sheyle - them's mine, bitches!)  
Summary: Bobby's the unofficial 'adult' of the Resurrected 'verse, what with Mary & John dead, 'Hank' & 'Joyce' rejuvenated, and Giles just kind of out of the picture in London. Which is why he _hates_ being caught in the middle of all the 'kids' messes. Here are the other ten reasons.  
Words: 454  
A/N: Uh, yeah. Went all pear-shaped on me.

_**Ten Reasons Bobby Singer Hates the Resurrected 'Verse**  
3. He Makes Their Excuses_

"What do you mean, you _lost_ Ben?" Bobby gaped at Jo.

"Little shit gave me the slip, Uncle Bobby," Jo huffed. "I think he's heading back to Leah - but I swear I will beat that little brat within an inch of his life when I get my hands on him."

"And let me guess, Dean's been calling you for hours?"

"The man found out he was a father four weeks ago," Jo glanced away. "And now that Lisa's dropped off the face of the planet, he worries even more. I'm tracking him down now, it's just - I need your help, Bobby."

"Aw, dammit, Jo. Fine. Find the boy, and do it fast, dammit."

"Thanks Bobby."

* * *

"No, I ain't heard from Jo, boy. I've got other things to worry about than Jo," Bobby snapped over the phone.

"Ben was supposed to check in with me at three when he got out of school," Dean's voice rasped over the line.

"Hell, Dean, it's only twenty after. Kid's probably hanging around with his uncle at the high school. It's a glee club day." Bobby just prayed to any god listening that the boy really was at McKinley.

* * *

"I didn't mean to walk into the locker room, honest!" Ben winced as Coach Sylvester dragged him to the music room by his ear. "I got turned around!"

"You just happened to miss the huge sign that said 'Girl's Locker Room' on it?" Sue snorted.

"There you are!" Jo cried, glaring at the boy. "You scared the hell out of me, brat!"

"I didn't mean to," Ben rubbed at his sore ear.

"I caught him trying to sneak a perverted peek at my Cheerios while they changed," Sue glared down at him. "I suggest corporal punishment as a suitable reprimand. We don't instill fear enough in today's youth."

"Like father, like son," Jo muttered.

"Ben, why didn't you meet up with your Uncle Puck by the locker room?" Bobby demanded, coming around the corner with both Puck and Adam in tow.

"Yeah, Squirt. We're supposed to be picking up Mari and Leah for ballet class," Adam added.

"I was at the locker room until the Coach dragged me to her office to interrogate me!" Ben caught the look Bobby gave him.

"Well, get a move on," Bobby motioned for them to take off.

"Sorry, Uncle Bobby," Ben dipped his head low and let his uncles lead him away.

Sue's eyes narrowed at Bobby. He only stared back at her.

"I smell treachery afoot, Mr. Singer," Sue spoke quietly. "I don't like the stench."

"Smells like normal teenager funk to me," Bobby shrugged. "Guess you went in the wrong profession if you can't handle the smell."

"Touché."


End file.
